Most bizarre day ever
by Christalm
Summary: Ludo visit Star and have the most weird conversation ever


_Sorry. I'm not English native so it's possible that this could have a lot of bad writing expressions._

* * *

\- Toc. toc... - someone knocks the door  
Star opened it  
\- Hello, princess Butterfly...  
\- Ludo!...

A tense pause occurs.

\- What are you doing here? You should know that I don't have my wand anymore and I don't have time for more silly fights!  
\- No, no, no. No fights. I came in peace.  
\- How do you know that we were here?  
\- As you know, I have spies everywhere... Hahahaha  
Star put a bad look on Ludo  
\- No. Just kidding. You are buying stuff in that shop. I purchased it recently. It's a Ludo's now. See. I have your bills here.  
Ludo show a paper signed as "Star Butterfly" filled with hearts and fancy draws...  
\- Oh... Mmmm... What are you up to, Ludo?  
\- May I enter?  
\- What?  
\- I want to talk with you... privately.  
\- To talk?

Star saw everywhere try to find something unusual.

\- Do you see? I came here alone.  
\- Mmmmm  
\- It's important  
\- Ok. But just because you have asked it correctly. But I hope you be quick.  
\- It will take only some minutes.  
\- I'm watching you, Ludo.  
\- Sure you are. - and Ludo entered camly

Marco jump and be on it's guard as soon as he saw Ludo.

\- Ludo!  
\- Hi Marco... Relax... Im not here to fight.  
\- What the hell are he doing here? what it's all about? - asked to Star  
\- No idea.  
\- May I? - said Ludo while he really seat in a chair without wait the answer  
\- I like what you did to this place...  
\- So... What do you want?  
\- Aren't you going to offer me some drink or anything?  
\- Uggg - Star moaned runing out of pacience  
\- Our supplies are very limited as you can see.  
\- Didn't you have water, at least?  
\- Agggg -said Marco boring too by this weird situation... And he offered him tap water.  
\- Do you need something more?  
\- No, thanks. That's enough.  
Ludo carried a case. He opened it, took a smaller box from it and he place it on the table.  
\- Take this, Star. It's a present for you.  
Star and Marco looked at each other. It was a small and streched box.  
\- Open it. What are you waiting for?  
\- Let me do it. - said Marco while take way gentlely Star backwards.  
He opened the box very fast and took a step backward waiting for some kind of attack or explosion but that didn't happen so both came close again.  
\- A rattle? - said Star - What can i do with a rattle?  
\- Do not be timid. Take it.  
\- I think it's some kind of trap - said Marco to Star like Ludo was not there.  
\- Yeah... It's all very weird. - said Star nodded.  
\- TAKE IT NOW ! ! ! !  
\- Whatever - said Star while take the rattle  
\- Wai..  
Star took the rattle and its shape changed into the normal Star's wand shape.  
\- NO WAY! - shout Star and Marco at the same time  
\- Tada!  
\- Do you have steal it from Eclipsa?  
\- No. That didn't work.  
\- Then... How...  
\- It's a different wand.  
\- Wait... What? Another wand? Glossarick said me that It was unique on its kind.  
\- Where did you get it? - asked Marco  
\- Its a long, long story... that it will take some minutes to tell.  
\- The story began some day, when my brother visited me in my interdimensional home. He brought a guy. A psicologist that were working on the underworld.  
I had hit bottom. My mind was on the brick of madness.  
\- That's not new - whispered Marco to Star  
\- I hear you! ... as I was saying, I started therapy sessions that helped me to slowly recover. So I finally decided to start a new life in another dimension... I save you all details but I could say that I found finally a refreshing inspiration. I learned the lesson. My tries as violent villain were a total failure. It was time to accept and left it behind. I will ever a powerful despot.  
\- It sounds pretry close to me. - said Star  
\- There is some differences. I was inspired by people like Tanus the Cruel, Hecolicus the Lender or David Rockefeller.  
\- Who? - asked Star  
\- Nah. A Earth Guy. A banker... He has bad reputation... - said Marco downplaying the reference  
\- So I had the idea of the supermarket...  
\- With the intention of ruin my kingdom... - Star said upset remembering the past events  
\- Yes... It was a great plan.  
\- The plan that we stopped... - added Marco  
\- Yes - Ludo replayed in resentful tone  
\- But... That's the past. The shop has survived. It brings profits again. It's not the same that when I had the monopoly, but it works - he said while he was balancing in the chair with proud  
\- Leave the management to his brother was a smart decision - said Marco just like Ludo was not there.  
\- Yes... His brother is much better manager than him.

Ludo lost his complacement looking becoming annoying with their words.  
 **  
**\- His brother lowered the prices. It was the right thing to do. Ludo had been forced the prices until the shop had gonned bankrupt.  
Star nodded.  
\- Yes. The place is very nice now. His brother definitely have managed it well.  
\- I'M THE OWNER ! ! ! It's named Ludo's ! ! !  
\- Ok, Ok..  
\- And I'm in charge of research and development of new product lines and opportunities. Look.  
Ludo took another box just like before, put the box in the table and opened it.

Marco and Star become frozen and totally red. They had the most embarrassed expression ever.  
\- Do you like it?  
\- It's... It's... - stammered Star  
\- It's a toy, yes...  
\- Adult... - add Marco with broken voice  
\- Yes - said Ludo while he close the box again - Demand is raising. Everytime the panic of an apocalipsis appears, the couples become more active. Fear to death and all about. That make Mewni an excelent market because is on crisis very often.

Marco and Star were red and frozen yet  
\- Take it, Star... It's a sample one. It's free. The bussiness is in everyday products. Consumables that use frequently. I have a cream here that it's really great if you are interested...  
\- I'm too young for these... things !  
\- What's your age? Fifteen? Sixteen? It's not so rare...  
\- I'm a princess ! ! !  
\- And? I sell a lot of this stuff on the St. Olga's school... and you have a couple so...  
\- WE ARE NOT A COUPLE! - shout Marco breaking his silent.  
\- Eh? No?... I though... as you are always together... And... What about that Butterfly pricess song?...  
\- Uggg... That song gonna pursue all my life.  
\- Our story is... - explained Marco - complex. But we are only friends. We are together because I'm her squire.  
\- Well... as a couple... between friends... that's your business. If you don't like it, you can give it as a gift to anyone. It's a good wedding gift too.  
\- Ludo! Can you stop talking about this? Can you return to the wand story?  
\- Oh, yes.. yes... ...After the fail in my vengeance plan I returned to my depression so I gone to therapy again. Then I realized that I didn't need any revenge. In fact... all the wand thing was not for you, Star. I was only want to be  
THE MOST POWERFULL BEING OF THE UNIVERSE! - said Ludo imagining his gigant omnipotent form with the wand while in the real world Marco and Star seeing him with his quering look.  
\- Ejem... Anyway... the revenge didn't help me in any way. Besides you didn't have the wand anymore so I choose to leave this issue behind and do the most logical thing. Go for the wand.  
\- Did you go for Eclipsa?  
\- I tried... at first. But Eclipsa is not like you... I can say that... for her, to make us bruises was not enough... So I go for the plan B.  
\- That was...  
\- Try to get another wand. I have dimensional scissors. I though... how knows... may be there is another wand alike... So, as I'm rich now, I offered a large reward for one. I put ads everywhere. News, magazines, newspapers, pixies bullleting board, radio, tv, Internet...  
\- Wait... isn't it Internet a Earth only thing? - asked Marco confused  
\- Yes... As I said... I had tried in EVERY dimension. So soon a lot of freaks came to try to sell me their wands. Most of them where simple toys. A small bunch of them were magic somehow... but not even close to yours... Until one day...

Flashback.  
\- Soooo tipical... Another cheap copy of Star's wand  
\- It seems that have a very good quality, big brother.  
\- Mmmm... You are right... It's true that is a very convincing copy. The star is basically the same.  
Ludo took the wand and it transformed in a instant.  
\- IT'S TRULY MAGIC!... Wait... A rattle? For real? is it a kind of joke? Are you saying that i'm a baby?  
\- You should try it, big brother. Perhaps is magic after all.  
\- Mmm... You may be right... Ok... LEVITATO!- said Ludo and a bunch of trashed wands floated in the air  
\- IT WORKS! This is a trully magic wand! I will ignore the shape problem. WE HAVE A WINNER!  
A massive "ooooh" groan sound on the line of candidates of wand owners...

\- Give the reward to her, brother. She deserved it.  
\- Where is she?  
\- What? Where did she go?

The flashback ends

\- So... A stranger woman give the wand to you?  
\- I'm not even sure if she was a woman. She have a hood and was facing down. I didn't see well. At first I though she was another nut trying to sell me one of this Mewni's fairy toy wand.  
\- Who may be?  
\- Who knows... But the thing was that I had a true wand. I felt at the top of power at last. It was me with a complete wand, without Toffee interferences. I enjoy some days using it... But... I finally become bored of do "Levitatos". I tried to coming up my own spells, but it was a total failure. Without Glossarick I did know what to do.  
Later I found some spell books, but I only was able to cast minor spells. I realized that I suck at witchcraft. It wasn't the wand neither the spells. Only me. I'm not for this thing.  
So I was there... at the top of my achievements and I was feeling empty. I had the most desired thing... and I was feelling inferior to everybody as always.  
\- Wait... - stop Marco - All this evil thing... and try to stole the wand... was because you have a inferiority complex?  
Ludo sighed wearily  
\- So... Is it all about you height? Because you are short?  
\- I'M NOT SHORT ! ! ! And, no... I do enough therapy to know that my problems started with my father.  
\- You missed again, Marco. Psicology is not your thing, Mr Pretty H. D. - said Star  
\- Mr. Pretty H. D. ? -asked Ludo, while Marco become embarrased - Friendly nicknames for "just friends"..  
Star saw Ludo and Marco and suspect that something was wrong...  
\- Is it not right? I... lost something.. , isn't it?  
\- You are totally lost in translation, Star... Look, Ludo. Star thinks that PHD means "Pretty Handsome Dude".  
\- What? This acronym is stupid...  
\- What? But your mother said...  
\- It was a silly joke... PhD officially means that you have a degree... or very deep knowledge at least... but there is a... less apropiate acronym... that begins with the word "Pretty"... so my mother do a joke remembering me that PhD could means another thing...  
\- Oooooohhh... - but the face of Star weren't enough convincing...  
\- You didn't known whats mean PhD, isn't it?  
Star were whispering so low that she could be barely perceptible. She was searching words...  
\- Pretty... - said Marco -... Hard ... - and he pointed to the Ludo's gift.  
\- I got it - said Star blushed again  
\- Hehehe... So It's true that you have little experience.  
Anyway... as I was telling... I feel even worst than before. Totally empty. I become depressed again and I returned to therapy once more.  
So I finally relized that, I only wanted to be powerfull and admired! And I am already! Ok... I am not the MOST powerfull of the universe... yet... but I'm enough powerfull, rich... even admired. Look... I have even my own fans club.

Ludo gave a movile from his pocket. He showed happy and proud its content.

\- YOU ARE THE BEST - said a message from someone called "Ludofan19" whose picture remembered a lot to "starfan14" but from the same species than Ludo.

\- Eh? Eh? Do you have something like that?  
\- Star has...

\- Well... The point is that I'M LIVING MY DREAM!  
\- Usa style - joked Marco - Oh, yeah! - added with his adult voice.

\- But there is a problem. This apocalipsis that are now runing... is a serious one. Eclipsa could really free Globgor and if that happens, he will eat every soul on Mewni. My home after all. And even I flee to another dimension, who knows if globor will cross between dimensions too.  
\- Is that the reason because you give me the wand?  
\- Yes. Even if I dislike the idea... you are the best hope to stop this crisis. And this wand has no use for me. This is the reason because I give it to you.  
\- Thanks a lot! Hugs!  
\- Eh? No, no... Keep out!  
\- Ok... I should test it... Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!  
The shack transformed instantaneously into a exact copy of Marco's house on Earth.

\- Cool! That trully feels like a home.  
\- Ooooohhhh. I wish I had known this spell before - said Ludo - Eeeeehh... Do you allow me to try?  
\- Sure... - said Star giving him the wand without doubt  
\- Star! - complain Marco- You have giving the wand to Ludo!  
\- Welll ... He has gifted to me at first. And he had the wand a lot of time. I don't think that occurs something really dangerous. And see... It's a rattle... It's so cute...  
\- Silent, please. Ejem - said clearing of the throat.  
\- Sparkle Litter Bomb Expand!

A shining liquid filled with purpurin rained over Ludo.

Marco and Star bursted into laughter.

\- Shut up! I don't understand... What did i do wrong?  
\- I think that you said "litter" instead of "glitter" - said Star trying to help him.  
\- Oh. Yes. Yes ... It has sense. I will try it again.  
\- Yes... I want to see it - added Marco who wasn't worried anymore.  
\- Sparkle... glitter... bomb... expand?  
A little pink smoke emerged from the wand sounded like a small fart.

\- Come on Ludo... Do it with conviction! - said Star trying to encourage him  
\- Ok, ok... Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!  
This time the sound and the smoke were a lot bigger.

\- I seems that your rattle is indisposed - said Marco joking and trying to not laugh again.

Ludo try it again and again repeating the result.

\- This seems its gonna take sometime... Now that we have a refrigerator, I gonna take a soda. Do you want one, Star?  
\- No thanks  
Marco returns to see Ludo failures, drinking his soda with short sips.  
\- Marco... You know that summon copy things, like your soda it doesn't feed really, isn't it?  
\- Oh... Cool! Even better. You have invented magic light soda!... No matters. It's for pleasure.  
After a while  
\- It's strange. I'm feeling pity for Ludo...  
\- Ludo. Stops! You are doing the same again and again. You need to focus. Close your eyes, take a breath, try to imagine the place you feel better and try again!  
\- Ok... Ok...  
SPARKLE GLITTER BOMB EXPAND! ! ! ! ! ! - he shouts with rage

This time, a stream go forward and created a small cushion on the floor

\- I did it! - said Ludo running to rubbing with it.  
\- Really, Ludo? A cushion? Star did all this house - said Marco pointing everything around.  
\- It's my favorite...  
\- Magic is not your thing, for good.

Ludo rose up from the cushion and regain composure. At last, he give the wand and returned to Star again.  
\- Use it as you know. Save us. Save everyone. Save Mewni - Ludo said even with solemnity only to ruin it at the last phrase - My business depends on.  
\- Hugs! - said Star doing too quickly this time  
\- No... Stay away! We are not friends - he said while he tried to escape  
\- Now we are - said Star with her honey voice.  
\- NO  
\- YEEEEESS...  
\- NEVER... At best... Friendenemies... Yes. That's it. Mortal friendenemies.. - he said with fierce look only to relax inmediatly and go in outside direction.  
\- Bye Ludo - said Star waving her arm.  
\- Bye princess... Try to use my gift well.  
\- Don't worry. I will do everyday  
\- I don't need to know that. Use the wand correctly too...  
\- Yes... I said that... Wait... What?  
\- That joke was a good one - said Marco kidding  
\- What a weird day. It's almost unbelievable.  
\- Yep. Probably the most weird day on my life.  
\- Ok... We should forget a lot of things about this day...  
\- You take it too seriously, Star. It was funny after all. - he said while he was taking more sips  
\- Listen to me, Marco. If I ever know that anyone of our friends, specially ponyhead, knows something about this... weird conversations, specially about my PhD confusion or Ludo's stuff... I will take Ludo's gift and I gonna use on you, pricess Turdina. It will be painfull.  
Marco choked and spit out the soda  
\- Ok... This is definitely, most bizarre day ever... and one of the most akward too. It rivals with the pricess song day...  
\- Uggg... You like to bother me, isn't it?  
Marco didn't answer but his happy face was enough.  
\- Wet socks! - said Star sending a spell to Marcos' feet.  
\- Fear me, Marco. I have a wand now.


End file.
